Stories from the Mary Jane Smoke

the art of story telling...

lit the blunt up as if it was my last taste of the sticky
spilling through my soul came of the life that I'm living
as the smoke hit the ceiling, so did my mind
sitting on Jupiter, I look down at how everyone else operates
scared to hit the soberness of reality, I roll up another and continue to smoke

fire from the lighter burned through my chest as I find it hard to breathe
laughing at the situation, coming down off the cloud I stop the laughter
tears fall from eyes, I think

contemplating mental suicide
I examine my ways,
why is it that I behave the way I do even though I know I can do better?
is it better for me to live in a fantasy world because life is too hard?

fuck it
life is a bitch anyway,
I guess I'll be a real lesbian and fuck her the way people have fucked me
no, I'm not talking about sex either, I'm talking about life
sort of like the cards dealt in the wrong hand, trying to play it right

laughing at myself, I lay my head back and light up another,
I need to kick this habit, but this habit has been too good to me
helping me to escape a life that's not perfect, full of imperfections
covered up in designer clothes and a "lavish" lifestyle
life full of phoniness from my hair, lashes, and friends

I digress

keeping myself sane I have to smoke
chronic is considered my gift from the Earth
drying the tears and cutting off the complaining, the smoke calms me
even though I know I need to keep the habit, the habit has been good to me

I bet you didn't know of the heartbreak and pain of my days
no, you don't know how it feels to walk in my shoes
I guarantee you that you won't want to see the things I've seen...
experience what I've experienced...
just....nevermind...

this is my story...told through the smoke of Mary Jane

Copyright© 2010
De'Shundra Gibson, All Rights Reserved

Gemini Connection

the love between us is friendly,
for it took time to mature and be made perfect, although it's not quite ripe

he and I are so different, and yet we're the same
predictable usually, but with a few changes
he has always been a product of my heart without knowing,
yet as though I can heal open wounds of his and make him smile

the idea of him happy makes me blush,
because I can only imagine the thoughts running through his head
he plays the tough role so well, but I know that he has a gentle heart and mind,
just beautiful in his own way

they say that our personalities don't work well together,
I guess it's because we were born around the same time
not paying any attention to the astrology, I make my decisions with my heart
I don't need a fortune teller to tell me how I feel,
personal opinions of others aren't needed
he's my February Love in the summer time
just sweet and innocent to me

this crush that I have on this Gemini favors the Gemini in me
understanding his motives and ever-being, I hold our connection close

Copyright© 2010
De'Shundra Gibson, All Rights Reserved

Corner Seat

back pressed against the wall,
 shocked at how attentive my body has become...
I'm ready....

undressing me slowly
I anticipate every action of this willing being before me
whispering softly in my ear
I bite down on my lip, as he caresses my breasts and kisses my neck
admiring my feminine form, he takes one last look
the reaction of his face is priceless, for I know what he has in mind
a slight moan is released from the pleasure I'm receiving
I close my eyes in ecstasy,
passion floats my skin, running down my thighs
from my breasts to my toes, I'm loving the things he's doing to me
wrapping my arms around him tightly
he picks me up, gripping the bottom of my frame
continuing to seduce me with his words, I'm ready....

the thoughts on my mind are too grown because I know daddy's intentions
backing me up into the corner, I find myself taking a seat
leading me the road of complete satisfaction, he aims to please
not wanting him to stop, tears of joy fall from my eyes
needing it to last forever, needing us to enjoy each other
in the corner seat...

Copyright© 2010
De'Shundra Gibson, All Rights Reserved

Had Me at "Hello"

the anticipation of the conversation came through a text message,
not wanting to be presented that way, I decided to call....
they say the first impression is the last one, so I wanted to be the best

the chemistry was instant, even though I didn't know what to expect
like a school girl with a crush, I enjoyed every aspect of the conversation
wanting more was the objective as I ventured into his inner being
finding his sex appeal and swag from his soul,
I knew that everything that he spoke was genuine and true

intelligent, intellectual, well-rounded, and humorous,
I was spell-bounded as to how he doesn't remind me of the same ol' kind of guy
just particularly unique and sexy in his own way

they say that the first impression is the last one,
so I hope that conversation won't be our last
he had me at hello, which turned my interest level on high
just looking forward to our next conversation

Copyright© 2010
De'Shundra Gibson, All Rights Reserved

Just to be Closer....

...just to be close, just to be close to you
.......just to be close to you is my desire...

sitting with my back against the wall,
I feel the pressure of life closing me in as I think about what's in front of me
mental fear and emotional disappointments have caused me to become bitter
placing too much trust in people has been my downfall
why must I feel this way?
so incomplete and unworthy,
depression and sadness shower my sunny days,
but only wanting it to get better

is it because I know that I've come this far that I must change?
that maybe the life I've been living hasn't been the same
things that I once found comfort and love in, are the very thing that I despise
wanting not to be in the same environment
wanting not to be around the same people
wanting and needing a change so bad that I can taste it
but afraid of biting into it in fear that I'll be rejected by my peers

someone once told me to never force it or fight it
but how can I force something that feels so right,
and yet I fight it because it's I know that it's right for me

it's strange how I want the "good life" but not willing to work for it
the real happiness and joy the is given to me through Christ is almost thrown away
could it be said that I'm bringing my own misery my way,
or could it be said that my heart is wanting to be fixed...

screaming for help but not knowing how to express it
I once tied my belief in God with the believe in people
feeling as though if people hurt me, God would, too
feeling as though if people want worst for me, God does, too
but now I'm understanding that that's not true,
but tell it to the physical struggles in my life

crying myself to sleep at night,
I know that it's something better to live for
believing in just one Christ, I know Jesus is making me stronger
just to be closer to him is my desire,
because I wouldn't want to be closer to anyone else....

Copyright© 2010
De'Shundra Gibson, All Rights Reserved