Have you ever tried to love a selfish heart? Recently, I did. After the last text message I sent, I didn't get a response back. I knew he didn't care because most nonchalant people show little to no emotion, while us "big heart" individuals seem to wear the shattered remains on our shoulders. It's funny! The older I got, the more I started caring. I wanted the same treatment that I gave out, but looks like that doesn't always happen.
I should have warned me years ago that the fairytale love stories only happen in movies, instead of reality.
I blame most of it on myself. I have always wanted to be in a committed relationship, but I always chose the wrong contendors. Now at days, people are more prone to selling dreams versus presenting the honesty of their souls. I believe my ex really put a mojo on me..
Monday, August 8, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Dixie Flag
Kill those niggers!
Kill those niggers!
screaming from the injustice pouring through such a crippled state
call me crazy, but I believe that racism is still alive
so quick to be ignorant with no education involved
yes, the state that I live in hates its own
please, don't let me phase you
as I didn't ask to be born African American,
however, I am not ashamed to be such a great representation of my ethnicity
born and bred in Mississippi, I'm always reminded that I'm Black
but those same people refuse to associate educated, articulate, and intelligent to my name
makes my blood boil at the injustice
only seeing me as a "mammy" instead of a blessing of the South
not recognizing the fact that I'm a tax paying citizen
my Democratic affiliation seems not to compare to those shady Republicans
not even my historical black college seems to be equivalent to that of predominantly white university
never quite understood the anger that brews from being different
my ancestory worked hard for me to be something great,
seems like racial slurs are given more weight than my extended vocabulary
ha,
I laugh at you devils, running to the church on a good ol' Sunday morning,
last time I checked, the hate in your heart is ruining the image of God,
I thought we were supposed to love one another, instead of judging
have y'all seen that video of the recent hate crime in Jackson?
I guess news station thought it was worthy after a month and a half had passed
tell you the truth, seems like "white is right"
but not in my book
people are people, that's how you should see them
at the end of the day, my people have not overcome
not even to the point of being seen as equals
do they consider the fact that Martin Luther King died for social equality?
I cry.
I cry at the sight of innocent blood that trampled on the concrete
young white teens thought it was cute to kill someone over his color
how stupid and ignorant can you be?
they might not even see a day in prison
that's just the way it is in Mississippi
you think I'm racist?
no, not at all
it's the psychological mindframe of those who came from Mississippi blood
the funny thing about it,
I bet those teens love hip hop music
bumpin' that Waka Flocka in their F150 trucks
repeating every word of the lyrics that spill of the oppression of the Black man,
as if it is something wrong to improve the state of the well-being of the minority race
gold teeth, tattoos, and weaved completely is how they would rather see me
the truth is disgusting,
but that is the very being of my Mississippi Reality
I have to remember that my state is still that of the Dixie Flag
where they would rather see me picking cotton instead of being successful
Copyright© 2011
De'Shundra Gibson, All Rights Reserved
Kill those niggers!
screaming from the injustice pouring through such a crippled state
call me crazy, but I believe that racism is still alive
so quick to be ignorant with no education involved
yes, the state that I live in hates its own
please, don't let me phase you
as I didn't ask to be born African American,
however, I am not ashamed to be such a great representation of my ethnicity
born and bred in Mississippi, I'm always reminded that I'm Black
but those same people refuse to associate educated, articulate, and intelligent to my name
makes my blood boil at the injustice
only seeing me as a "mammy" instead of a blessing of the South
not recognizing the fact that I'm a tax paying citizen
my Democratic affiliation seems not to compare to those shady Republicans
not even my historical black college seems to be equivalent to that of predominantly white university
never quite understood the anger that brews from being different
my ancestory worked hard for me to be something great,
seems like racial slurs are given more weight than my extended vocabulary
ha,
I laugh at you devils, running to the church on a good ol' Sunday morning,
last time I checked, the hate in your heart is ruining the image of God,
I thought we were supposed to love one another, instead of judging
have y'all seen that video of the recent hate crime in Jackson?
I guess news station thought it was worthy after a month and a half had passed
tell you the truth, seems like "white is right"
but not in my book
people are people, that's how you should see them
at the end of the day, my people have not overcome
not even to the point of being seen as equals
do they consider the fact that Martin Luther King died for social equality?
I cry.
I cry at the sight of innocent blood that trampled on the concrete
young white teens thought it was cute to kill someone over his color
how stupid and ignorant can you be?
they might not even see a day in prison
that's just the way it is in Mississippi
you think I'm racist?
no, not at all
it's the psychological mindframe of those who came from Mississippi blood
the funny thing about it,
I bet those teens love hip hop music
bumpin' that Waka Flocka in their F150 trucks
repeating every word of the lyrics that spill of the oppression of the Black man,
as if it is something wrong to improve the state of the well-being of the minority race
gold teeth, tattoos, and weaved completely is how they would rather see me
the truth is disgusting,
but that is the very being of my Mississippi Reality
I have to remember that my state is still that of the Dixie Flag
where they would rather see me picking cotton instead of being successful
Copyright© 2011
De'Shundra Gibson, All Rights Reserved
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Reasons for Loving Him
he carries a piece of my heart through his known position of friendship
mysterious being, hiding secrets and traces of his past to avoid his heart from sharing too much
how can I blame him; this world is such a cold place,
and yet he seems to keep his composure,
protecting his turf while setting examples
he strives to be the man his father never was,
so he always comes off hard and rugged
little does he know that I can see past it,
the fortitude of his personality makes me so safe,
but it also drive me to fearing him in such an intimidating way,
however, his heart is so compassionate and warming,
reminding of a childlike pasttime,
taking me back to innocent times and naive thoughts
there are days I want to give him my whole heart,
but those same days he teaches me to withhold my heart to keep from getting it bruised
I definitely see his reasons for that,but each day I want to give him more
he calls me soft, I say it's love
I call him mean, but he reminds me that he's tough
inside something is telling me that he wants to be loved, but he fears this complex word called trust
it doesn't matter to me because secretly each day my crush turns into something like puppy love
because I see the man trying to break through,
while harbour that beautiful heart of a little boy
my reasons for loving him is because he is my friend
he accepts me for my flaws and all,
making getting to know him such an adventure
I just hopes he seems my true intentions because I'be been trying to heal my own broken heart
Copyright© 2011
De'Shundra Gibson, All Rights Reserved
mysterious being, hiding secrets and traces of his past to avoid his heart from sharing too much
how can I blame him; this world is such a cold place,
and yet he seems to keep his composure,
protecting his turf while setting examples
he strives to be the man his father never was,
so he always comes off hard and rugged
little does he know that I can see past it,
the fortitude of his personality makes me so safe,
but it also drive me to fearing him in such an intimidating way,
however, his heart is so compassionate and warming,
reminding of a childlike pasttime,
taking me back to innocent times and naive thoughts
there are days I want to give him my whole heart,
but those same days he teaches me to withhold my heart to keep from getting it bruised
I definitely see his reasons for that,but each day I want to give him more
he calls me soft, I say it's love
I call him mean, but he reminds me that he's tough
inside something is telling me that he wants to be loved, but he fears this complex word called trust
it doesn't matter to me because secretly each day my crush turns into something like puppy love
because I see the man trying to break through,
while harbour that beautiful heart of a little boy
my reasons for loving him is because he is my friend
he accepts me for my flaws and all,
making getting to know him such an adventure
I just hopes he seems my true intentions because I'be been trying to heal my own broken heart
Copyright© 2011
De'Shundra Gibson, All Rights Reserved
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